During the During

I've known for a pretty long time that I need to be writing, and blogging. I always questioned it though, and hesitated. Lack of time, not wanting to do it at work or on my phone, worrying about what to say, how much to say, whether I'd just be revealing to much or if anyone would even want to read what I have to say. 

The feeling, the urge, though has been there for as long as blogging has been around though, and it hasn't let up. I've since come across other bloggers I really admire, and the latest one (Glennon Doyle Melton) is really driving it home. 

I need this. I need to tell my story, share my thoughts, and use this as an outlet. An outlet for my sensitivity, my "brutifully" intense feelings, my struggles, and the beauty I see as well. I feel more deeply than many others do. For a long time I either felt shame about that, or underplayed it, not fully appreciating that it's a gift. Being a mom has really helped bring the gift of it into focus. 

I'm still scared. A big part of my story right now includes my marriage. I'm not quite sure if or how I can use this as an outlet in a way that is respectful, but I know I need to try.

I still don't have much time, but I have my phone. My posts won't be perfect, but hopefully they'll help me to "show up during the during."